Been gone for awhile on this little online diary of mine.
Hiatus was much needed, even though I have missed jotting down all the little things in life. I guess it's just that it didn't seem as important to me anymore to jot every little thing down, but more to just enjoy these little things that are the big things in life.
I've watched my best friend lose his mom, our Grammy, and I've watched him deal with it with such stoicism and grace that I could have never mustered in the face of all of this. I know I haven't dealt with it very well, and yet Dan goes forth with one foot in front. He tells me all the time he tries not to ask why because that question will be the end of him.
March 23rd would have been the day that she would have started rehab. We had planned on going to visit, and Dan had so many things that he was waiting to tell her; he was going to get that chance that most people don't get, the chance to tell her everything he had wanted to tell her since February. But, we didn't get a March 23rd and he never did get to say those things. Instead, he held her hand and told his mom that he was there with her in her final days with us.
That was the chance he was given in the end. He was there for her, as were my girls and myself. I know that he took that as his job at the end-- to make sure that she left knowing how loved she was, knowing that she wasn't alone.
******
He got the chance to do something else for her last week. We all did.
Dan had found a link in April on Grammy's Facebook page about the house that she had always wanted us to visit together in Maine. He e-mailed the link to see if this house would possibly be available for the summer, and unbeknownst to him the owner of this house in Brunswick, ME (southern Maine) was also the owner of a house in Hancock, ME where she had stayed 3 years ago. Once I saw pictures of the house I remembered that this was the house that she had wanted us to visit, but Abrielle was a newborn at the time so it just hadn't been possible. This was the house though that had left such a lasting impression on my mother-in-law, that she was always talking about it to us.
Dan didn't realize that the owner of this house (a sweet lady named Staci) and Grammy had become very close, and text messaged all the time and kept in touch through Facebook. And, apparently when Dan had sent the e-mail, Staci was overcome with shock that this had happened.
What turned out as an innocent inquiry e-mail for a trip to Maine to honor his mom turned into a generous offer that seems unheard of these days: Staci offered us her house in Hancock, ME- the very house that Grammy was always nostalgic about- at no cost. Yes, the house would be almost bare because they were making it ready for full-time renters come July, but we couldn't have cared less. I was floored with this woman's generosity.
Maine was always Grammy's refuge. She grew up going there and loving the beautiful simplicity of it there, and it definitely passed on to Dan. He grew up going there every summer with his brothers, and out of the 5 of them, he definitely seems to have that same admiration for all things Maine that she must have instilled in him. This was where he wanted to go to honor her, to feel her with him, and to make her smile.
*****
We had such a wonderful time. Maddie and Faith remember their visit there 2 years ago with Grammy very fondly. Abrielle was only 1-year-old last time, and it was so neat to see her enjoy it so much this time. I know for sure that she won't soon forget these memories.
We stayed in Ogunquit (southern Maine) for one night. Granted our 1st day there was non-stop rain, but the rain did stop for a brief time in the evening. We took advantage and got the girls down to the ocean. There's just something about seeing the ocean.. not only for me, but to see the look in my girls' faces when they see it themselves and feel the waves on their feet.
We spent the next morning there too before heading up to the house which was almost 4 hours north.
It was such an overwhelming feeling to see this house standing there when we turned into the gravel driveway. It was a beautiful house sitting on 25 acres of land. The girls ran from room to room exploring and shouting with excitement, while Dan and I read the note that Staci had left for us on her daughter's drawing pad. That drawing pad was well used those next couple of days.
The next couple of days were a whirlwind of fun and visiting Grammy's favorite spots in Acadia National Park and Bar Harbor.
Cadillac Mountain.. one of our favorite spots and where we were married almost 11 years ago.
Her one favorite spot in the entire world is also ours, and has always been our girls' as well... Sand Beach in Acadia. The turquoise water set next to the craggy rocks is just something else. And, the sand is something completely different too-- it is technically not sand, but shells and marine animals that have been crushed from the waves. The water there has always been a chilly 50 degrees too, but it's never stopped us and definitely doesn't stop my ocean girl named Faith! Maddie and Abrie are content to sit and play in the sand for hours, while Faith "races" the waves up and down the shore.
Dan was insistent on bringing back some sand from Sand Beach to put at her gravesite, along with some shells. So, we gathered up a bucket of sand before we left.
We tried a couple of things that were new even to Dan this time. Faith desperately wanted to do a whale watch cruise for humpbacks, minkes, and finback whales, but Maddie was equally as desperate NOT to do it. She was scared to get on a boat for 3 1/2 hours! So, we decided to take them to the Bar Harbor Oceanarium which Dan had never visited in all of his trips up to Maine. The Oceanarium was a rinky dink little place, and yet Dan and I both said that we learned more from here than from any of our previous trips to other aquariums. They specialize in Maine's aquatic life, so I guess that helped since we really didn't know much about these animals. Faith, Abrie, and Maddie got to visit the touch tank there where they got to touch a sea cucumber, a horseshoe crab, starfish, sea urchins, giant snails, and some other things that I honestly don't even remember their names.
The touch tank was our 1st "station," and our 2nd "station" was to meet with a lobster fisherman where we learned all about fishing for lobsters. The lady fisherman was very nice and Maddie and Faith volunteered to go up to put the rubber bands on the lobsters which was really cool.
Our 3rd "station" was a lobster hatchery where we got to see all the baby lobsters.
We spent our evenings at the house just enjoying the peace and quiet there. One of Dan's family's traditions in Maine has always been to play whiffleball every night. We forgot our whiffleball bat here at home, but I made up a game out of the whiffleballs and frisbees that became quite the hit while we were there. I called it: "Meatballs." Ha!
We went down to the water too looking for mussels which is another of Dan's favorite pastimes that he is quickly instilling in his little girlfriends. Abrie became a pro at looking under the seaweed for baby crabs, which Maddie did catch one! And, Faith found a caterpillar which she named "Fuzzy" and took home only to find the next day that it had formed a chrysalis.. it was quite cool to see a science project evolve right in front of our eyes!
Dan and I were up every morning before 5am, which we loved. The sun was already rising there by 4:30am but it allowed us the peace of the morning to sit out on the deck and watch the deer that would come to the backyard.
Father's Day was extra special this year too since it was spent in one of Dan's favorite places. We spent the morning at Sand Beach, then went mini-golfing at a place in Bar Harbor we hadn't been to since the year we got engaged in Maine. And, we took him to a great waterfront restaurant that night in Bar Harbor for a lobster dinner.
Our little whirlwind vacation was a vacation that we will always remember. I'm not sure how we'll ever be able to thank Staci properly for the opportunity to do this for Grammy, but hopefully one day we can meet her in person to tell her what it truly meant to us. When we packed up the car Monday morning to come back home it felt like we were closing the door to some of the hurt, and though it will never, ever go away, it felt like we were able to heal somewhat. I know I saw it in Dan's eyes the whole time we were there.. I know he felt as though he was with his mom.
We brought this back to Grammy, and we brought back memories to make our hearts happy:
The sign into and out of Maine says it all:
"Worth a trip. Worth a lifetime."
We spent the next morning there too before heading up to the house which was almost 4 hours north.
It was such an overwhelming feeling to see this house standing there when we turned into the gravel driveway. It was a beautiful house sitting on 25 acres of land. The girls ran from room to room exploring and shouting with excitement, while Dan and I read the note that Staci had left for us on her daughter's drawing pad. That drawing pad was well used those next couple of days.
The next couple of days were a whirlwind of fun and visiting Grammy's favorite spots in Acadia National Park and Bar Harbor.
Cadillac Mountain.. one of our favorite spots and where we were married almost 11 years ago.
Her one favorite spot in the entire world is also ours, and has always been our girls' as well... Sand Beach in Acadia. The turquoise water set next to the craggy rocks is just something else. And, the sand is something completely different too-- it is technically not sand, but shells and marine animals that have been crushed from the waves. The water there has always been a chilly 50 degrees too, but it's never stopped us and definitely doesn't stop my ocean girl named Faith! Maddie and Abrie are content to sit and play in the sand for hours, while Faith "races" the waves up and down the shore.
Dan was insistent on bringing back some sand from Sand Beach to put at her gravesite, along with some shells. So, we gathered up a bucket of sand before we left.
We tried a couple of things that were new even to Dan this time. Faith desperately wanted to do a whale watch cruise for humpbacks, minkes, and finback whales, but Maddie was equally as desperate NOT to do it. She was scared to get on a boat for 3 1/2 hours! So, we decided to take them to the Bar Harbor Oceanarium which Dan had never visited in all of his trips up to Maine. The Oceanarium was a rinky dink little place, and yet Dan and I both said that we learned more from here than from any of our previous trips to other aquariums. They specialize in Maine's aquatic life, so I guess that helped since we really didn't know much about these animals. Faith, Abrie, and Maddie got to visit the touch tank there where they got to touch a sea cucumber, a horseshoe crab, starfish, sea urchins, giant snails, and some other things that I honestly don't even remember their names.
The touch tank was our 1st "station," and our 2nd "station" was to meet with a lobster fisherman where we learned all about fishing for lobsters. The lady fisherman was very nice and Maddie and Faith volunteered to go up to put the rubber bands on the lobsters which was really cool.
Our 3rd "station" was a lobster hatchery where we got to see all the baby lobsters.
We spent our evenings at the house just enjoying the peace and quiet there. One of Dan's family's traditions in Maine has always been to play whiffleball every night. We forgot our whiffleball bat here at home, but I made up a game out of the whiffleballs and frisbees that became quite the hit while we were there. I called it: "Meatballs." Ha!
We went down to the water too looking for mussels which is another of Dan's favorite pastimes that he is quickly instilling in his little girlfriends. Abrie became a pro at looking under the seaweed for baby crabs, which Maddie did catch one! And, Faith found a caterpillar which she named "Fuzzy" and took home only to find the next day that it had formed a chrysalis.. it was quite cool to see a science project evolve right in front of our eyes!
Dan and I were up every morning before 5am, which we loved. The sun was already rising there by 4:30am but it allowed us the peace of the morning to sit out on the deck and watch the deer that would come to the backyard.
Father's Day was extra special this year too since it was spent in one of Dan's favorite places. We spent the morning at Sand Beach, then went mini-golfing at a place in Bar Harbor we hadn't been to since the year we got engaged in Maine. And, we took him to a great waterfront restaurant that night in Bar Harbor for a lobster dinner.
Our little whirlwind vacation was a vacation that we will always remember. I'm not sure how we'll ever be able to thank Staci properly for the opportunity to do this for Grammy, but hopefully one day we can meet her in person to tell her what it truly meant to us. When we packed up the car Monday morning to come back home it felt like we were closing the door to some of the hurt, and though it will never, ever go away, it felt like we were able to heal somewhat. I know I saw it in Dan's eyes the whole time we were there.. I know he felt as though he was with his mom.
We brought this back to Grammy, and we brought back memories to make our hearts happy:
The sign into and out of Maine says it all:
"Worth a trip. Worth a lifetime."
1 comment:
I really enjoyed looking at all of your photos on Facebook. What a memorable trip, and such a nice thing to do in memory of Grammy.
Post a Comment