February thus far

Grammy (Dan's mom) suffered a brain aneurysm last Wednesday night. It's been a hard week.

Dan and I went together today to visit in the hospital, and we arrived at the height of her worst day there yet. Needless to say, we were very taken aback and upset. I forced myself to keep it together, but had to leave the room for a little bit. Maddie had entrusted me with taking a small jewelry box with "happy charms" (some beads that she put in there so that Grammy would feel loved) to her Grammy, and I made sure that I delivered on that promise.

It's been very hard on Dan. He's kicking himself and blaming himself for not calling enough, and not helping with his dad as much. None of it is Dan's fault, and I tell him that; but, of course he's feeling the guilt and helplessness that is this situation. Dan's not sleeping, and neither am I. I couldn't believe that last night I even forgot (completely forgot!) to draw the picture that the tooth fairy always leaves for her, along with the dollar bill tucked inside. We're struggling to keep things going here and trying to manage the visits that are needed in Lancaster. 45 minutes to Lancaster, and 45 minutes to Dan's work.

Maddie has been especially worried and sad about it all. She asks every single day when she can go see Grammy, and works every day on making new pictures to send to her. I'm praying that her Grammy makes it out of this, and as the person that we remember.